I Spoke to a Squirrel

The title says it all. Today I caught myself talking to a squirrel. Shall I elaborate?

I work on a college campus that seems to encourage squirrel life. Worse, the Natural Sciences department and Business Office secretaries feed the squirrels. Campus Safety officers have been taking pictures of the "evidence" (no joke, they've photographed nut shells) but so far haven't stepped into the action more than that.

Because of the feeding, the squirrels have become rather forward with people. This delights some and frightens others. I lie somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. Which leads me to my story.

I was walking across campus, minding my own business, when I noticed a furry little creature out of the corner of my eye. I paused to glance at it and the second I made eye contact, the evil little squirrel began to pursue me. He'd follow for a few steps, then pause while standing only on his hind legs, only to follow on all four again. Creeper. Without even thinking I stopped and yelled to him, "I don't have any food! So stop following me!"

Strangely enough, he listened.

And so I walked away, glancing furtively over my shoulder until he was far behind me. And that's the story of the time I spoke to a squirrel.

Adios!

PS I promise I'll write more frequently soon. I'm in rehearsal for a play (I'm a lead!!!) and I'll surely have some fun stories. I'm working with some awesome people.