Why Sephora Employees Scare Me (and other stories)

I think I've finally reached the point in my life were I realize how much genetics has to do with my body type. I finally caved in and went to the mall the other day to buy some new jeans because I now have my mom's thighs. They aren't twiggy like they were when I was younger. My momma and I have many similarities, and I'm definitely thankful that I'm like her, because she is a pretty and awesome lady, but I don't think I was ready to admit that my body has started to become an adult body. Just today a lady at Loehmann's asked if I had a child. Not in a mean or offensive way, but probably out of curiosity because her little grandbaby was having fun making faces at me in line for the register (and I've got those "childbearing hips" my family likes to joke about). I'm sure she had no idea that I was in line to purchase jeans that were "easy fit" so that I wouldn't feel/look like I was poured into them. And that grandbaby was all about the high fives, which is pretty amazing considering how young she was. And when a baby offers you a high five, you must take it. That's the law. Even if they offer you ten high fives. Take them all.

Rewind.

Friday I went to Express at the mall to get some new jeans since they were having a sale. I tried on 8-10 pairs of jeans (no joke) and wasn't happy with any of them. Especially not with the jeggings that somehow made their way into my selection (seriously, jeggings?!). They were all too tight, even the ones I sized up. Apparently, I'm not built like an Express model. I chose the least of the 8-10 evils and purchased the pair, feeling like I was making a mistake but that I needed jeans that looked decent.

Afterwards, I went upstairs to Sephora because smelling things and looking at makeup usually boosts a foul mood (also I needed to grab some face stuff). As I was inspecting something that looked like chapstick but had the coloring of lipstick I heard a Sephora employee behind me ask, "Do you have any questions?" I didn't really turn to look at her, because I was busy investigating the product and asked, "Can I try this? Do you think this would be a good color for me?" As she responded in the affirmative I stood and looked at her and immediately questioned my question. She stood before me with bleached yellow hair, tipped in hot pink and teased within an inch of its life. Her eyeliner was, appropriately, bright yellow and pink and her lips followed the same color scheme. At least she matched, right? Long story short, the chapsticky stuff looked awful on me. However, I'm always wary of these weird looking people in Sephora. They should be there to offer advice, right? But to be honest, I don't know how valid their advice is based on the face they present. That is why they scare me. I'm worried that I'll cave and ask for advice and then somehow buy something that looks awful and never know it because people are too nice to say anything. Also, they always want to help you find more to buy. That is dangerous when there is a large and sparkling tower of OPI nail polish winking at you.

Anyhow, I found my face powder, purchased, and went home lamenting my new jeans. Which is why I went to Loehmann's today. I only tried on a few pairs of jeans (and two dresses and three tops) and came out with a winner (in price, fit, and style) with Lucky. Phew! So now I have a pair of bootcut jeans that even out my shape and actually fit nicely. I promptly returned the dumb Express jeans.

Sorry this was all about jeans and makeup. But in my defense, those were the exciting parts of my weekend so far. I was very much hoping to see my parents at Carpinteria State Beach a few hours away, but because of this Carmageddon thing I was warned to stay local and I finally listened to the advice. :(

Mean Vegetable Guys and Micro Monsters

I thought I'd blog today during the commercial breaks of one of my favorite TV shows. Anyone else live vicariously through So You Think You Can Dance? Anyhow...

I spent the last few days with Hubbs in Vegas. My mom covered my flights as an early birthday present for him and I believe he was quite pleased. :) It will be a month and a half until I see him again (unless any of you want to road trip out over a weekend) but I know we'll survive.

Shuttle ticket.

Once I deplaned (is that a word?) in Vegas, I headed out the airport doors. The plan was for me to take a shuttle to The Bellagio so that I could meet Hubbs after work and go home with him. So, I went in search of a shuttle. I entered into the 90 degree night and saw limos all over the place. Perplexed, I stood in one spot wondering how the heck I knew which shuttle was the right one. Apparently my lost look caused a gentleman to realize I needed help. He directed me to the shuttle kiosks and I went to purchase my fare. As I approached the only open window,  I noticed a rather curvacious lady applying her makeup. I stood back, thinking I'd let her finish, when she waved her manicured paw at me, urging me forward. "Where you goin'?" She mumbled at me, around her lipgloss. "The Bellagio?" I stammered. "Six bucks." Still working at her gloss. I handed her the money, she gave me a receipt and the chip in the picture above and said "Shuttles that way," with absolutely no definite gesture. So I did what any self-respecting woman would do.

I walked to the middle of the sidewalk and looked lost.

Yet again, a gentleman helped me out. He found my shuttle and showed me to it. Thank goodness I did my hair! Otherwise I'd probably still be at the airport. :) I arrived at The Bellagio, checked my bag at the Bell Desk, and played some slots!

This is the result of $1 in a machine while waiting for Hubbs. Winning!

And five minutes later... losing.

Hubbs and I had a joyful reunion and the next day I went with him to hang out on the Strip while he worked. I took a book and a walk and then got to see O that night again. It was even more awesome.

However, a night on the Strip alone wore me out and I decided to stay home the next night. I was nice and cozy in the casita while a decent thunder storm raged outside the window. The next day was our time to really hang out, so Hubbs and I went on a mission to The Cosmopolitan to find Secret Pizza (cue mysterious music).

Hubbs and I at the Cosmopolitan. This is the prettiest, gaudiest , coolest hotel ever!

The Chandelier. The Cosmo is built around this and it must be seen to be believed.

Hubbs and I found Secret Pizza and it was worth looking for. This place isn't advertised in the least. They are hidden down a nondescript hallway and they have absolutely no name. No real menu. No design on their boxes. And all of the beautiful deliciousness of the best thin crust pizza we've ever had. I didn't take a picture because I felt that would have been against the spirit of the place. :) We also had shakes/drinks at Holsteins on the same floor. Go there, too.

Holstein's Brown Cow. Rootbeer, vanilla ice cream, Absolut Vanilla, and vanilla poprocks!

Happy Fourth! This is where we watched fireworks explode all around us!

On Monday night, after Hubbs covered RAW, we drove a few minutes from the casita to watch fireworks. See above picture, sans fireworks because I couldn't catch them. It was lovely.

Birthday chocolate cheesecake from Jean Philippe.

Hubbs wanted cheesecake instead of regular cake for his birthday. I was only too happy to comply and we got a personal cheesecake from Jean Philippe. Yum!

We also got to spend Tuesday together before I had to fly back home. Strange feeling to be flying home but to feel like you are leaving it. I suppose that is what being in love with your best friend does to you.

Suffice it to say that I am going to be counting down the months/days until I see him again.

Oh, and in regards to the title? I bought artichokes for a steal tonight and their prickles bit me through the grocery bag. This caused me to call them "mean vegetable guys" in the middle of my parking lot. They drew blood! And no veggie makes me bleed my own blood! And micro monsters? I was heating butter for the mean vegetable guys when my microwave began to flash and buzz. This scared me and I cancelled the monster activity to eat cold butter on my artichokes. Apparently the micro is working again, but I'm still feeling cautious. 

The end.

For now.

Now back to my show! 

P.S. Sorry if this post is awful, I'm busy paying attention to dancing. :)