Monday, June 27, 2011

Oh, hey there!

I keep meaning to blog and find myself making up excuses about not having anything interesting to write about. Then again, do I usually? And do I let that stop me?

Heck no, techno.

So here I am, and here is the story of  George and Neil. This is a true story, perhaps embellished a smidge for dramatic purposes. In the interest of honesty and all that jazz I'll be sure to let you know when I'm lying bedazzling.

Neil is my Toyota Corolla S. I like to say that the S is for "sexy," but it's probably for "sport" or "super" or something. Neil was named after one of my favorite playwrights whose work always makes me giggle. Neil is a good car. Neil houses me during my lunch at work when I call up the hubbs to chat. Because of our opposite schedules, lunch is sometimes the only time we can chat.

Well, today I was gabbing with hubbs about all sorts of gooey lovey dovey stuff and waxing poetic (lie, I'm not poetic) when I noticed something white moving on my left mirror. I tilted my head to examine the movement further. It was a huge, giant, scary spider with fangs (lie, not very huge, not nearly giant, and no visible fangs)! I mentioned the spider to hubbs and he dismissed it, not knowing the inherent danger I was in (lie, probably some sort of garden spider). As the spider twiddled his legs creepily, I decided to take action and rolled up my window as quickly as I could. Which is pretty much the only speed it rolls up because of the electronics. As the temperature in my car rose higher, I contemplated ways to catch and kill the beast, because on an 80 degree day, a the thought of a breeze is so tantalizing that one might become brave. Anyhow, the white spider with the long legs hid inside my mirror. Hubbs and I finished our conversation and I launched open my car door, rocketed out, and then pushed it shut again with my foot (lie? perhaps slight exaggeration since I was quick, but not that quick). Crisis averted.

Or so I thought.

Apparently Neil and the spider became fast friends and in the remaining hours of my day they decided to hang out more. I got back in my car at 5pm, shut the door, and noticed the spider. Again. Peeking his ugly little head/body out, whispering my name (lie, no whispering unless it was really quiet and I didn't hear it). So I decided to speed through the parking lot in hopes of tossing him to his death. When that didn't work I decided that I had to name my foe. I settled on George because it sounded squashable.

George hung on through the ride to get Costco gas and it was all I could do to act normal in front of the 5 million (lie, maybe twenty) people in line for gas. Again, I did the door slamming routine but to no avail. In fact, as I drove away, George climbed his invisible thread of death (not a lie, it is death for bugs) to my window. I started to panic, but managed to maintain safe driving maneuvers. George hid, cowering (lie? do spiders cower?), while I was on the freeway, but showed his vengeful face once I parked at my home. I chose a spot far from bushes in order to let George know I didn't want him to feel comfy. Then came the drama of The Car Exit.

I'm not proud of this. But the truth must be told.

I climbed over my front seats and middle thingy in a skirts and heels in order to escape out the passenger side of Neil. I just couldn't face George and I didn't see any neighbors so I acted like a ten year old girl. I can only hope that he gets the hint and leaves Neil and I alone. No room for a third passenger with us! Well, actually, we can fit five total, but no spiders allowed usually.

And that is my story. May it please be on the record that not once did I scream.

Happy Monday.

PS I get to see hubbs soon! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, June 13, 2011

Oops. Um, oops.

I was planning on going to an audition tonight. It was a last-minute decision made last night after talking to Hubbs on the phone and deciding I needed to audition again. As I was getting ready to fall asleep I checked the usual site that I watch for auditions and Oh My Gosh! there was one for today. I got all excited and fell asleep.

I woke up this morning and went to work, checked out the play (which I had never read) from the library on my lunch, and read it all through lunch. I went straight to the audition site after work, grabbing fast food so that I'd be early enough to glance at the script again. I was ready to have fun. Perhaps ready to play with a goofy character. And certainly ready to audition again! So I texted my audition buddy with the opportunity. When 6:30 rolled around, I went to the door.

It was locked.

There was a young man whom we shall call George. He didn't make eye contact but introduced himself, we exchanged niceties, and he noted that the door was locked. I agreed, seeing as how I had tried the door, and commented on how that was funny. Our conversation continued like this:

Me: Yeah, I'm surprised no one is here yet.
G: It is still early. Why are you here?
Me: I'm here for the audition.
G: Why are you here?
Me: (wondering at the repeated question) To audition.
G: What are you auditioning for?
Me: The Miss Firecracker Contest. Aren't you here to audition?
G: Nope.
Me: Oh, what are you here for, then?
G: Rehearsal. Seussical.
Me: Oh, that is pretty cool. What a fun show!
G: It's funny. That you are here for an audition tonight.
Me: Why?
G: You won't be able to rehearse for another month. We are rehearsing here.
Me: (suspicious of myself) That is funny... (start surfing the web on my iPhone)...
G: Haha. Yeah.
Me: (surfing still... until... I find the website) Oh my gosh.
G: Haha. Yeah, funny.
Me: (aghast) I'm a month early for my audition!
G: Haha. Yeah.
Me: Wow, thanks for asking me about it! I'm going to go. Home. Now. Aw, sheesh.
G: Haha. Yeah. Too early. *

I exited stage left walked to my car, got inside, and started cracking up. First I texted my audition buddy to not come. Then I texted Hubbs. Then I called mom and we had a good laugh. I've got to say, that is the first time I've ever done that. I feel like a dummy, but at least I'm a dummy who can laugh, right?

So now I'm at home, contemplating watching WWE's Monday Night Raw (habit because of Hubbs), while cuddling a kitten. I probably won't do too much since I strained my back and right shoulder scrubbing the tub/shower last night, but I will enjoy the time to look for more auditions online! :)

*Just so you don't think the guy was rude, I'm fairly certain he was mentally handicapped, so his laughter was not so much at me, but more nervous. He was a sweetheart and reminds me of a friend I had growing up. I'm thankful he took the time to talk to me!

Saturday, June 11, 2011

"O" My Gosh.

Hubbs and I drove to Las Vegas last Sunday morning to get him settled for his three month internship with Cirque du Soleil on their show in the Bellagio. It is called "O" because that sounds like the french word for water, but I'm pretty sure it is called "O" because that is the shape my mouth was in almost the entire time.

I love him.

This is how she tried to keep us from leaving. By sitting on or in our luggage.

Our first sublet plan for Will fell through and we spent quite a bit of time searching for a healthy replacement. However, Sunday night we halted our search to see "O" from the booth of the theatre. It was seriously one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. Cirque definitely knows what it is doing with the mixture of performers and water. If you ever have the chance and the money, you need to see this. Apparently the show is at 99% capacity on a regular basis so it has been popular ever since it opened. I won't say much more because I feel like I can't do it justice without a million copyrighted pictures. Just know this: if you want to watch something powerful, graceful, beautiful, amazing, and technically challenging... this is the show for you. I am even more proud of Hubbs getting this internship now than I was before (is that possible?).

Raspberry White Chocolate Cheesecake that we shared. :) Delicious.

Me in the vintage dress that inspired my current healthy lifestyle.

The rest of Sunday night was spent walking around Vegas (my shoes earning me a 3/4" blister on my big toe) and enjoying the flashing lights before checking into our hotel. We booked our room through hotwire.com and paid about $30 for a pretty decent place. It wasn't glamorous, but it had the bonus of being named Arizona Charlie's. Yep. Arizona. I double-checked with Hubbs that we hadn't left the great desert state of Nevada. We're still not sure why the place is called Arizona Charlie's but hey, beggars can't be choosers, right?

Monday we found a good little place for Hubbs to stay for his Vegas time just down the street from a friend. We visited a Costco and a few of the other important places that he needed to go and then headed to the strip again. Can I just say that Vegas is HOT? I can see why their malls are indoors now. We walked around outside and inside and ate some food. The whole time I felt nervous because I knew I had to leave him there soon. We didn't even do any of the Vegas slots or anything because we just wanted to hang out together.

I'm not going to dwell on my feelings in this post because, to be honest, I feel like they aren't justified enough. There are women whose husbands get shipped off to Iraq (or any number of dangerous places) and here I'm crying about a lousy four-hour drive? I feel foolish, but I still feel. Does that make sense?

Enough of that.

I flew home safely. I greeted an angry kitty who yelled at me until I fell asleep. I went to work the rest of the week. That's how things work.

I've noticed that there are a few distinct disadvantages to not having my Hubbs around (besides missing him like crazy). Hubbs always made the coffee in the morning and now I have to. Hubbs makes the bed warmer faster, which I am a fan of. Hubbs holds the kitten in a special way that she now misses and I have to do it to stop her from crying now. Hubbs is strong and can open things (jars) or lift things (30 lb cat litter) that I struggle with. Hubbs is fun to look at because he is handsome. Hubbs likes doing fun things while I'm a bit of a homebody. Hubbs is funny and also laughs at my jokes. The Fluffy One is not so good at that. Hubbs will sing with me on car rides. I could go on, but I think you get the idea. Hubbs just makes my quality of life better. :)

I get to see Hubbs again in 20 days, 3 hours, and 45 minutes or so! I've already caught myself trying to plan what to pack. I know it is silly, but that is how very excited I am to see my best friend and husband again. To hug him and hear him sleeping next to me. :) Many thanks to my awesome Momma who gave him a visit from me for his birthday!

Maybe tomorrow I will blog about the awesome symphony I went to with my brother and friends last night. In case I don't, here is the breakdown: The Great Gatsby, Gershwin, and Rachmaninoff. Yep. Brilliant.

Au revoir!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Running is Evil

I went for a run today.

This temporary insanity was spurred by the fact that an adorable vintage dress that fit me on Monday barely zipped up on Tuesday. And by "barely zipped up" I mean I lost some of my skin to the zipper of the dress and made painful faces. Poor hubbs had to endure them. This is the dress, an adorable late '40s or early '50s bundle of cuteness.



I would have gone for a run last night but by the time I was in and out of the dress it was too late. And I think hubbs would have laughed at me. Before I fell asleep I resolved to myself that I would begin running multiple times per week and eating healthy.

Darn.

I spoke with a friend at work today who recommended that I start with 15 minutes of running and build up to 30. Doesn't sound like long until your chest is burning, your lungs are bursting, and you have a strange cramp in the arch of your left foot. And all of the music on your current playlist is in Spanish. Also, I might not have run the whole entire time. I might have done spurts of power walking.

(PS How humiliating is exercising in public? All that huffing and puffing and sweating... Where's the Big Bad Wolf? Oh wait, it's just that little blond girl jogging by...)

I've never really been a fan of that whole running phenomenon that seems to have hit the youth who live around me. It seems to me that running was created for getting somewhere fast or getting away from a threat like a charging T-Rex. I suppose my threat could be the extra marriage weight, cholesterol, or heart problems, but right now running makes me feel like I'm going to die instead of like I'm going to fight death. Go figure. Oh... figure. Punny. Not intentional, I promise.

I'm going to try to continue this whole exercise thing in the hope that I do it often enough to delude myself into thinking that I actually like it. I used to play tennis in high school and I really enjoyed that. I also took dance lessons and delighted in those. Somewhere along the line I got a degree and a desk job and lost my oomph. For those of you who don't know, Kristi's Official Dictionary sometimes defines "oomph" as "the irrational willingness to exert oneself physically, not to save one's life, but for enjoyment." Sometimes "oomph" is alternately defined as "the noise a Kristi makes when she falls." So if you were confused at first I can understand why.

And can I insert a disclaimer here? I understand that weight gain can be natural and sometimes healthy. However, I find myself noticing that what I do or do not do in regards to food and exercise is affecting my physical shape. I could do with being healthy and toned. Notice that I did not say skinny. Ok?

Don't hate me for this post. No haters here unless you want to post about how you also hate running. I would like to encourage that type of hate. Well, not really, but it would make me feel like less of a fluffy wimp.

Anyhow, perhaps while hubbs is in Vegas I will get into shape and eat well. That sounds like something I should do. Maybe I even want to do it? Gasp! We shall see.

Is anyone else feeling this way? Is this an age thing? A female thing? A "change is coming in my life and I'm working on dealing with it" thing? Sheesh. I need to go cuddle a kitten.

See you later!